Gibberish Stuff !

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Yowza!
Again documenting my thought process at the age of 21 (yk, just in case I come and look back at this after years, I can compare my maturity level lol).
So, as of now I've applied for my Masters in US and waiting for decisions. So damn excited!! JUMP TO SUBHEADING TO SKIP BS xD
I did want to apply to 9 universities, out of which I finally did in 4. I wanted to go to UIUC (world top 10 in CS!) but I was more inclined to NEU or CSUF. Rutgers-New Jersey, Northeastern University-Boston, CSU Fullerton and Uni of Connecticut were the final four.
I've read quite a few books and now I question the purpose of our existence. Like, why at the first place, did the big bang happen and we exist.?? Isn't all this a simulation (because, imo our thinking capacity is restricted to after big bang phenomenon).. And other stuff like that (quantum physics and spiritual nerd :P).
Secondly, I've started paying regular visit to Rokadiya Hanuman Temple and recite chalisa twice (one for myself and one for others - sarve bhavantu sukhinah).. It makes me calm and idk why this gives inner strength and more humbleness.
I mean, I've become more inclined towards '______ (god??)'. I can now see things from an unbiased perspective.

CRUX OF MY THOUGHTS RN

I believe there's duality. Physical world is illusion. Even quantum physics is indicating that everything which exists isn't really there.. (Look out for Quantum Entanglement and Quantum Electron Double Slit Experiment). Try to go into a thougtless state of mind. Lose the identity, and then you'll experience something that I can't fathom into words... Try it ! 
Nothing actually matters. We just need to find the purpose of existence and maybe go beyond consciousness.. This is a clusterf*ck when we actually think about it.. Maybe you'll resonate with my thoughts, maybe you won't. Upto you!
 
(Yours truly at Hazrat Nizamuddin...The vibes were different and you can clearly see that on my face..)


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