Debugging Life

Dear Boston, So, the time has come. To bid you a farewell for the time being. We met some 4 years ago on a sunny day. I remember it was very hot. Too hot for a 22 degree Celsius day in early September. I was jetlagged after a 16 hour flight. And you were mesmerizing, as always.  You've hosted millions of people like me. The Irish who touched your shores and caressed them centuries ago. You've hosted Thoreau, Swami Vivekanand, Ben Affleck, the cab driver from middle east, students of merit in MIT, Harvard, Tufts, Berklee from asias and the australias and africas and europe, also the homeless folks. I feel jealous of you treating everyone as special, but also makes me proud that I got to roam on the same streets in which the people who made a dent in this world did. You completely blew my mind. Your beauty, elegance, arrogance, and a bipolar weather. You've been my muse, and I was yours. You developed in me the habit of long walks in silence. Almost every week I get lost star...

Yo stalkers! Like always, you came here from my instagram bio, right? This post is a sequel to the post that I wrote exactly 2 years ago when I passed out of Medicaps - What Medicaps Gifted me? Where I wrote about the amazing people I met in that phase of life. As your intelligent mind might've guessed; I'm going to write about the amazing moments, lessons and people Boston has gifted me - exactly two years after the Medicaps post.! Buckle up, because this is going to be a long read :) Our graduation day! (L-R: Devesh, Me, Ritesh Bhai, Kanishk Bhai, Ashish Bhai, Him) Scene - Saint Germain Street (67-9).. Ashish Bhai is in the kitchen cooking for all of us on a Monday.. Devesh listening to KK and Atif while I'm playing my guitar on my desk.. Him working out in the hall.. It's around 9:30 PM. Ashish Bhai: Kya gaana lagaya Devesh bhai aapne! Me: KK ka Alvida laga na Life in a Metro ka please. Him: Bhai fatafat chal aate hai 2 minute me, fir baithenge. Me: Ek number bro! *...

 Finally, passed the masters!!!! You might be thinking it's not a big deal, right? Keep reading. So, I took a final course called Machine Learning in Finance; where we had to perform stock market analysis and design trading algorithm and strategies. Which was pretty much done by me with ease. But the final exam, my god! It was full of rigorous statistics, various tests (GARCH, ARCH, MACD, RSI, AD Test, KS Test etc), plus some core machine learning concepts. The catch was, the exam was online; and everyone used google to excel the exam. The class highest was 100, mean was 93. BUT, yours truly didn't cheat. I honestly wanted to test myself in this exam. We were technically supposed to attempt it without google, and since the course was worth 7000 dollars, I had already decided not to cheat. I mean I can get a 100 had took help from the internet; but what's the use of those 100, right? So, I gave the paper with utmost honesty (usool ka pakka insaan); and I ended up getting clo...

Yo stalkers! Writing after long long time! It's almost the end of June. And life's been a roller coaster, frightening but exciting. I like it this way. PS - I GRADUATED!! Next target is MBA... but after 3-4 years.. I want to be a VP in a good firm by the time I reach 30.. This inspiration came from my previous manager during my internship in Portland. She did her MBA from MIT Sloan.. and is a VP... she seems too young to be a VP... I want to outperform her... I want people to take inspiration from me.. I'm targetting Cambridge, UCB, Fuqua, IIMA, IIMB, UChic, and a few more... but that's for some other post.. I've realized a lot of things about myself, while nearing graduation. I realized the cost of ambitions. In a journey to make it big in life, I have sacrificed a lot of interpersonal relationships. I don't even know how it feels like to be at home, to connect on a deep emotional level with mummy, papa, dadi, baba. My life revolves around making it big, which ...

Yesterday was a crazy day at work. Honestly, I am not able to comprehend how the time at office passes by. It's a lot of things to learn. And it is worth it when Ryan tells that he likes the dashboards and insights. Also, when I was coming home from the office, it started to rain all of a sudden. Thing to be noted is that I am used to sudden rains, because uhhh you know, Boston. But, it never rained like cats and dogs, or I shall rephrase it as - I never saw it rain like cats and dogs in the states. But yesterday it did. Maybe due to vicinity with the ocean. And it reminded me of the rainy mornings in Medicaps. How we all used to go to the 'first year' block for our R programming lectures. The whole environment used to be grey-ish. No sunlight. And then everyone used to sit together and just talk throughout the lecture. Well, primarily because who the hell wants to study on rainy days even if we sit inside?! And after that lecture, a couple of more in the CS block. And then...

Today is Friday, and I opted to work from home. So, its a bit relaxed for me. Or is it? Does it happen to you that whenever you're having ample of time in your hand, you don't necessarily want to make it ultra productive, but you don't want to waste it either..? (Today is one such day, so in order to avoid anxiety, I have to work today... maybe study something or listen to a good podcast to say the least) Also, even though I have said this earlier, but I am obsessing over people who have pursued an MBA after their MS. The Fuqua passouts, Booth passouts, Haas passouts, Harvard BS, Wharton, Sloan, Tuck, Kellogg, Ross passouts.... maaaaannnn I soooo want to join these schools. These schools sculpt global corporate sharks, young turks leading projects of millions and billions!! What else? In Portland, I am spending most of my days in silence. Literally not speaking a word to anybody for 15-18 hours straight... Strangely, I like this. Just me, my thoughts, books, internet, food ...

 So, I'm writing about my first day of Job after coming home from third day. Well, because its a good job which apparently keeps me busy. And also, I just come home, eat food and literally doze off.   Basically, I have to work on a product with a team, where I'll spend my time on analytics and machine learning stuff. I am in the core business team of the product, where I'm working directly with Maxime (Dartmouth MBA) and Swapnil (MIT MBA) who are the AVP and VP of my company's behavioral health division. Also, other teammates Ryan, David and Clare are also veterans and I'm the only intern.  So, its a bit intimidating (in a good way) and challenging. I will learn a lot. Also, Swapnil is VERY humble. I thought she'd be a bossy lady with whom I'd have a tough time... but is not. She is soooo soooo humble and I haven't seen her resting a single minute. She is just working all the time. I aspire to be a workaholic like her in the coming years...  And Maxime. ...

Today is a very hot day in Portland. Or humid atleast. Well, maybe because my house is just 2 minute walk away from the atlantic ocean (self aggrandizing bastard)... So yeah, I thought of watching some bollywood movies on this hot-calm-typical summer day. So I watched Monsoon Wedding and Mr & Mrs Iyer. Now, i wont talk about Monsoon Wedding. Because (a) it is a well known and good movie (b) because the latter one is underrated and not heard by the masses. Mr and Mrs Iyer is a movie which can't be classified into a specific genre. By the name it might sound that its a light hearted comedy movie (and also by the cast - Rahul Bose and Konkana Sen). But the movie is an emotional roller coaster, which makes you think about the idea of romance along with communalism and idiotic complex systems created by the society. I am writing my thoughts about the movie without revealing a single plot detail so that when you watch the movie, it remains fresh. But yes, it made me wonder that no wo...

If you have ever read about blackholes, you might have come across the term 'singluarity' at some point. Well, I am about to enter that phase of my life now. At this moment, physicists are still trying to find out what exactly happens after that point. Same is with me. I am standing at the verge of six months which will decide the entire course of my career. Although I'll be happy with my coop like others, I want to make the best use of these six months. This place will either help me dig my head in books and courses all the way, or just lay on the bed on weekends... this room... my place... will be my battlefield. Also, I am in suburbs for six months. Here I am experiencing the 'true' culture of America. The introverted side of the USA, which isn't portrayed in movies. Even the sound of sneezing touches the ears of the man moving his lawn 2 houses down the lane. You can hear birds chirping 24*7, sound of rustling leaves when the wind blows, and occasional thuds...

Again, I am writing this from library. Seems like a ritual, which is about to break. Actually, today is Thursday and I am moving to portland the day after tomorrow. So, I'll miss studying in library for the next six months. For some unknown reasons, I am feeling this sudden urge to study and code. Which is very rare because I feel like this only for a day or two in a couple of months; but it's been almost two weeks that i've been into books and udacity at a stretch... at this rate i'm sure i can crack faang, mckinsey or atleast land a good job for the time being. Its by the end of my first stretch in boston that i have realized how awesome northeastern university is!! i cant wait to come here again in january and become an all round nerd.. i wish this 'urge' to study stays with me in portland as well... also, yesterday was the last time i cooked for my roommates.. and i'm not even kidding... the sabzi turned out to be awesome..!! now this might not be a big ...

 Right now its 7:13 pm and I am sitting in Snell Library. I was coding some stuff in postgresql (udacity's nanodegree). I have to go to Jigesh Bhai's birthday by 8:30 and to be honest I want to sit in the library till 10-11pm. So, in a nutshell I will have to negotiate with both things and reach at the party by 9-9:30. And since I wanted to take a break, I thought to write a blog post. About my own dreams, work and life. I am moving to Portland for six months and honestly I dont want to leave Boston. I have made a family here. I know its for the better, but duh... So yeah, it seems a bit pretentious (trust me I hate it) but I enjoy working like this. Empty library, just the noise of my fingers hitting the keyboard and indistinct chatter in the background. It made me think of the things that I left behind some 10 months ago. I was a boy, in comfort zone who used to think that I've conquered the world. It was here, when I came to Boston where I realized that I am merely a spe...

  Hello Stalkers! So here you are again, trying to have a sneak peek. Lately, I have been involved in rigorous thinking about things (almost everything). Well, primarily because of existential crises and the quest to find the purpose of our lives, duh. Why am I even doing my Masters in a country which is thousands of miles from my own home; what will be the point of earning money, shall I look forward to marriage, and a constant dilemma of choosing between reading Bishop's Pattern Recognition and Tagore's Sadhana. Coming to the point. So, I was feeling really 'unproductive' and felt I was wasting my life. And I was reading about rising COVID cases in India; while I was busy chilling at my apartment here in Boston. This is when I started to introspect upon my idea of love. As to, what it exactly is. Because we all have been brainwashed with the idea that love is limited to our romantic partners; and the ones who are 'sInGle' can't experience that. And I was b...

I was surfing instagram, where I stumbled upon this quote by Democritus. At first, I agreed to this quote. But then I started to scrutinize this. Also, before reading further, read this quote and then form your own opinion... Not at a superficial level, but think about what he said for a couple of minutes. And only then, I want you to read further. Okay, let's go! In my opinion he's implying that everything which has physical form, is universally objective. Means, it is a truth, which everyone can acknowledge. However, perception is an opinion which is subjective. For example: If you and I were standing infront of two pots. One of sunflower and other of red-rose, we might have different choices. I personally love sunflowers, but you might love roses.  Here, we both are acknowledging that 2 flowers are in existence - which is the objective truth. But - which flower is more beautiful is completely subjective, and non-binary. I mean you might choose rose over sunflower because t...

So, I came across a form of Japanese poetry - Haiku . They're very short poems. Which generally follow the 5/7/5 rule. However, many Haikus written in english don't follow it, but maintain the overall feel and brewity.  Here's a Haiku for the strongest person I've ever met in my life. Like always, I won't share this link.. If you come across this, thank me later. Idk why, I've a gut feeling that you read what I write :)   a beautiful shrub growing from cracks of a wall tender yet fierce     What shall I name this Haiku? It's better I don't name it and limit it's scope. Till the next time Yours Truly.

Recently I was just studying about why do we feel sadness and longing for a person. You might've experienced it in the form of heartbreaks, failures, rejection, etc. So here's my guide on how I survive through sadness. See, we are hormone junkies. We love oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, and dopamine. These are some hormones which are secreted while we're in love, take drugs, achieve goals etc. So when you go through a breakup/lose a dream etc. these hormones aren't secreted by the brain. And hence, it starts panicking. We look for escapism. We go towards alcohol, we crave for drugs, do anything for achieving your dream, beg in front of ex-lovers to take us back etc. Our brain tricks us into doing things which we would never do in normal situations. That's why we end up taking bad decisions and feel sad. But there's a way to deal with sadness. We can replace our routine activities with tasks which release these hormones in our brain. For instance, our brai...

Hello!! Let me introduce myself. I am Satyam Mishra, a common yet so uncommon Engineering Undergrad in India (neither IIT nor NIT). Thinking of my persona?? I am six feet four inches huge, lean guy just about to exit teenage. But irony is that, despite of my athlete body, I am kinda nerdy. I am an introvert. Yes, I hate to talk to most of the homosapiens. Yet, there are merely 4-5 such counterparts to whom I speak. Why blog? Simple reason. I want to store my experiences in cloud. This will be somewhat geeky, funny and not mundane. I guarantee. I am a programmer. So, I prefer talking to my pc rather than humans. Definitely, this blog will also include some programming talks, but yes as the name suggests 'DEBUGGING LIFE', it will also relate to my experiences in college and sophisticated aura of life. You can mail me at : satyamgusmishra@gmail.com Rest, I will reveal myself in my second post (logically second, but emotionally first :p). Till then, enjoy!!!!