Some Freud and my interpretation of his philosophy

Lately I've buried my head in books. Mainly psychoanalytics, some fiction, and an autobiography. But this time, I'll be noting down my interpretation of this absurd but revolutionary idea given by Sigmund Freud which helps us to understand why humans in general are motivated to do things that shape their personality.

I'm assuming most of you might've heard this idea of associating sex with behavioral traits by Freud. Now, if you're hearing this for the first time, it WILL seem very weird and gross. But Freud says, every child in some way or another sexualizes his mother. I mean not just in a sexual way, but he's attracted to his mother even in terms of emotional dependence. The reason being that, when a child is young, the only female interaction he gets is of his mother. And in the same way, he sees his father as someone who is taking care of his mother, to whom she is attracted.

This makes the child to become like his father, because the child perceives his father as his competitor. And here lies the reason why it is important to have a prominent father figure in life. If the father is a good man, the child would copy him. If the father is weak, the child would grow up to be like him. And as the child becomes an adult, he meets women and seeks to be with the women who resemble his mom in some way or another. And according to Freud, this happens with every person. Me, you, the person 500 KM away from you. Everyone.

Furthermore, the absence of a strong father or presence of a weak father gives rise to 'Daddy issues', which in my opinion is the main source of unhappy relationships. Women grow up and find solace with men they don't really deserve, just because of vulnerability. I'm sure we all know atleast a handful of such women if we give a thought. (Note that, I personally don't support this idea, but women and men with these issues are very vulnerable and are manipulated by assholes to fall into unhealthy relationships)

Now, I'm not talking about coping with Daddy issues. But it is through this blog that I'm jotting my interpretation of Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory (just a part). Reading this helps us know more about ourselves and the unhealthy patterns we fall into. And if one of our friends are going to that lane, we can very well realize it and stop them.

I'll give you my example. So, my father is a 6'4" man with a very strong personality. He's always been strict and ambitious since my childhood. You know, he's the kind of person who'd teach me important lessons in life by tough love. And now with help of Freudian theory, I kind of realized why I always want to meet expectations of my father. Because he's the man I've always looked upto.

So, if you know me personally - I've inherited a lot of traits from him. Well, genetically of course (I'm 6'4" and fair) but behavioral traits include me being very harsh on myself, ambitious, and never satisfied of things (because when I was a kid, papa would always push me to do harder even if I got satisfactory result). My dad doesn't knows about Freud's theory - but this happened recently. When I got the job and I told him - instead of congratulating me, he told me to push even harder and not settle. This was a very small incident, but it has been the same since last 24 years of my life. (Which is very good, and I'm grateful for it).

But the point is, to understand the consequences of having a weak father. Many people we know have a timid paternal upbringing. Which is reflected in their traits. Guys who cry easily, guys who just chase women, guys at 25+ age with mediocre jobs, and so on. I don't think I'd be in a position to work in Boston and have big money in my account even before turning 25 if I were raised by a weak father.

And this is inevitable. Most people who are doing better than others either have strict and masculine fathers or some kind of hard masculine experiences. On the other side of coin, other men simply have easy upbringing - which has made their subconscious thinking to stay in comfort zones. It's a fact, whether you agree or not.

Now, you might think of me as an arrogant man. And I state clearly - I am. But to balance my arrogance, I tend to fill my brain which as much knowledge as possible so that I can take rational decisions. And studying Freud has helped me to reach a better level of introspection and understand people around me better. Be it Prachi, Sarthak, Rahul, or any xyz person I have interacted with. And I recommend everyone to read books. And also I plug in to go to gyms. You see, self improvement is masturbation (said by Chuck Palahniuk). 

My friend, we have a short life. And I think that there's no bigger sin than to live an average life. Step out of your upbringing and generational trauma. Go get that degree. Love that person. Earn like crazy. Roam the world. Wear gucci and versace. Lie on your deathbed with scars on hands and face.

Grateful for this life.

Yours truly.

S