Debugging Life

We all keep reading news, hear opinions, debate with friends on ideologies. Here, I am specifically talking about political ideologies. Because it is one of the main things which decides the traits of an individual on a smaller level and adds upto the fate of society and nation as a whole. I'm not going to write about the cliche capitalism vs communism debate. But I will try to give you a torch, which will help you to tread a path of your own. Truth is subjective, and you have to decide your own. But yes, I also believe that there are some truths which can be generalized in an objective manner. I believe that a person who is in love with one side of ideologies (be it left or right) is certainly not correct. He doesn't have free thoughts, it's just an impression of an ideology which he read while seeing the world through it's bias.  I'll love to put forward some examples: Feminism. This word is a topic of heated debates in every part of the world. Giving equal rights...

Right now, I hung up the phone. I had a conversation with papa. Barely 8-9 minutes. This is the first time that I called him on his number, and we talked this long. Not like, I never spoke with him on phone, but it was barely like 20-22 seconds. Yes, in last 22-23 years, we never had 1-1 conversation even for more than 1 minute, unless ofcourse he had to scold me. I am feeling strangely powerful. He didn't give me motivation, but just him discussing future with me, made me realize that now I am a grown up. He sharing his plans with me about my younger one's education, and he sharing some life lessons with me... had a profound impact. Quoting him, he gave me a good advice.  "Baba ye baat bolte hai, unne experience kari hai. Maine bhi itne saalo me experience kari hai ki paisa kamana aasaan kaam hai, paise ko jod ke rakhna bhot mushkil hai. Aur tu choti umr se hi aadat daal. Hamesha ye baat yaad rakhna. Paisa bahot badi cheez hai." I myself, have seen him struggling whe...

Hey stalkers! It's 5:43 PM and I'm listening to some bhajans on youtube. Someone came to see our house, since we have to sublease it from January. But, this is not how a typical day in my life looks like. I'll write about it (my day in Portland) in second person. You get up at 5:45-ish in the morning, turn off the alarm which was about to ring at 6am. And then instinctively you call at home. Talk to Mummy and Dadi for half an hour. Boom ! It's 6:30. Now, you rush to the kitchen, to prepare breakfast. Mostly it's cereals and milk. Sometimes it's omelette, and rarely some leftovers from the last night which, you ordered via Uber eats. Then you wash your face, get ready for the office and catch the 7:20 bus to Portland downtown. From downtown, you catch another bus to Unum I/B or Jetport. There you go. You're at office around 8:20-8:30 in the morning. Now, you start checking your emails, teams messages and set yourself for the meetings which are generally aroun...

"Woh kuch paane ki chaach me oho! Woh badhta raha raah me oho! Gehra samandar tha oonchi oonchi lehre mere yaaro sunlo sunlo Kashtiyaa jinpe ke mushkil se thehre mere yaaro sunlo sunlo. Wo saahil tak aa hi gaya, wo manzil ko paa hi gaya. Uske the jo sapne, wahi uske the apne. Aisa tha sinbad the sailor. Tum ho toh gaata hai dil, tum nahi toh geet kaha.   Tum ho toh hai sab haasil, tum nahi toh kya hai yaha? "  Song recommendations because been listening to them since a week: Sinbad the Sailor (Rock On) -----> this one is my fav <3 <3 <3 <3 Woh Ladki Hai Kahaan (Dil Chahta Hai) Piya Basanti (Ustad Rashid Khan) All I Need (Radiohead) Reckoner (Radiohead) Tum Ho Toh (Rock On) Naav (Udaan) Madhubala (Amit Trivedi's Songs on Love) Sunflower (Spiderman sang by Post Malone) Affection (Cigarettes after Sex) Jaane Kyo Log Pyaar (Dil Chahta Hai) Chhod Aaye Ham Woh Galiyaan (Maachis) Kasoor (Prateek Kuhad) Tuta Pull Wahaan (Deepak Rathore) Khoj (When Chai Met Toast) ...

 Just came home from team dinner. Maxime dropped me from Saltwater Grille. Also, today was an insanely productive day. FYI whole business team is in Portland. Ryan, Grace, David, Swapnil, Maxime, Camille, Chaitra, Mike, Stephen, and me. Today I wrote a python script which solved a data manipulation issue which we were stuck since last 2 months. Major roadblock destroyed. Also, joined a meeting at Rockport (HO3) with 10 people who were double my age... Funny part was the introduction. Everyone started introducing themselves..  "I'm XYZ, AVP of Behavioral Health" "I'm ABC, Director BH" "I'm Bla bla, Product Owner" "QWERTY, Legal Advisor of solutions segment" and there was me. "Satyam, Intern in BH Business team". I mean if I were in IT team, I'm sure it weren't a big deal. But, working with Sloan, Tuck, ex-Mckinsey, ex-BCG guys is a dream. And when Ryan acknowledged about the engagement KPI I've been working with h...

 Writing this from my macbook. Those who don't know, the keyboard and touchpad stopped working a month ago and was using my old dell inspiron.. but somehow i thought of charging the mac before taking it to apple store, and boom it started working... saved a couple hundred dollars *sighs*.. i believe it was some software (driver) bug. Anyway just 2 months left before i breathe in india. I'm excited. Also, been rigorously solving leetcode (DS, Algo and SQL). Bought premium membership for an year... Also, have to complete udacity nanodegree before it charges me for this month... aaaaarrrrghhhh... Gearing up for full time job interviews. Well, you see. I'm sure I'll get a job even if I don't prepare with strategy. But I have great expectations from myself.. (my parents are hopeless for me. they don't expect much from me ;__;).  Targetting Mckinsey, JP Morgan, or Bloomberg specifically. But will suffice with fortune 250... Well, Unum falls under the category. But jus...

 So, the initial days of co-op were somewhat chilled. I surely had work to do, but I used to complete it within 3-4 hours everyday and had plenty of time in my hand to relax. But lately, work has been crazy. Not kidding, I literally glance 2-3 times at the clock. At 8:30 in the office, then accidentally when my eyes gaze the wrist, BOOM!! It's 12:30... (and I rush to the mess where I had to pickup my lunch at 12:20!!). Then again I gulp down whatever Unum offers in 5 minutes and gaze at my laptop screen. And after a while, BOOM!!! Again it's 4:45!!! Being a busy bee. Working with Ryan, Chamin, James has been fun though. And meetings have increased exponentially. Also, my fear of dealing with long SQL queries has vanished and now I can write/debug them like piece of a cake... (given that I know the ER diagram). Well, because the moodle db in our prod has like countless tables, with tons of datapoints which can be used for analysis and reporting. Also, currently working on defini...

Been MIA on this blog for almost four weeks. Apologies. But A LOT has happened during this time. Went out with a couple of people, made lot of trips to Boston, Acadia again, read a lot of interesting things, finally got Homo Deus, bought a plant (I am thinking of naming it Hazel Grace), and decorated my room with series lights. Will write about all of it. I was very busy with office work these days. Since I will start making machine learning models seriously, I'll have to more responsible towards my work. Because as of now, it was restricted to data analysis, reporting, viz, database querying,etc. But now things are getting serious. So I decided to have a life outside of work to avoid burnout. Went out with H. Found out that she had lived in Italy and Ireland during her exchange semester, and now works as a transfer specialist in Portland. We talked a lot about alchemy, religion, existential crisis, travel, pets (almost everything). Initially we planned on watching the Green Knight...

Today while returning from the office, a very very strange yet memorable instance occurred in my life. I wonder if life's gifting me adventures and stories to narrate, haha. Grateful for everything though! So, it was around 4:58 PM and I was standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus to drop me off at Downtown Portland. But then idk why a black car was passing by and I felt the urge to look at the driver. Well, I did not budge my hands a bit but stared at the driver. I know for a fact that my stare is intimidating for most people. So, the driver stopped by and offered me a ride to Downtown. I agreed! And boom!!! I pseudo-hitchhiked :) We shared many things on the way to Monument Square. I came to know that he's from Canada and works as a part time chef and an IT consultant!! VERY COOOOOOL!! Has also stayed in San Francisco, NYC, as well as Boston. To which I told about myself that I have stayed in Indore, Boston and now Portland. Then we discussed about some politics, a littl...

A lot has happened in the last month. Personal investments, emotional growth, my try at philanthropy, and intellectual growth. I'll tell you everything here. First and the foremost, I helped an old man (maybe in mid 60s) walk by helping him with his prosthethic leg. He is an underprivileged man living in Bihar; and after watching the video of him walking gave me utmost satisfaction. That yes, whatever work I'm doing is going to make a huge impact in coming years. Moreover, coming to emotional growth - I learned to be comfortable with myself. Which is the title of this post. There are so many amazing realizations that I stumble upon, only and only when I'm away from everything. I try not to speak a single word for days at stretch (well unless it's an office meeting). This helps me sit with my thoughts and ponder upon them. The best thing that I've learned lately. Coming to personal investments, started building my portfolio. Invested pretty heavy amount in stocks, ET...

Yesterday was a crazy day at work. Honestly, I am not able to comprehend how the time at office passes by. It's a lot of things to learn. And it is worth it when Ryan tells that he likes the dashboards and insights. Also, when I was coming home from the office, it started to rain all of a sudden. Thing to be noted is that I am used to sudden rains, because uhhh you know, Boston. But, it never rained like cats and dogs, or I shall rephrase it as - I never saw it rain like cats and dogs in the states. But yesterday it did. Maybe due to vicinity with the ocean. And it reminded me of the rainy mornings in Medicaps. How we all used to go to the 'first year' block for our R programming lectures. The whole environment used to be grey-ish. No sunlight. And then everyone used to sit together and just talk throughout the lecture. Well, primarily because who the hell wants to study on rainy days even if we sit inside?! And after that lecture, a couple of more in the CS block. And then...

Today is Friday, and I opted to work from home. So, its a bit relaxed for me. Or is it? Does it happen to you that whenever you're having ample of time in your hand, you don't necessarily want to make it ultra productive, but you don't want to waste it either..? (Today is one such day, so in order to avoid anxiety, I have to work today... maybe study something or listen to a good podcast to say the least) Also, even though I have said this earlier, but I am obsessing over people who have pursued an MBA after their MS. The Fuqua passouts, Booth passouts, Haas passouts, Harvard BS, Wharton, Sloan, Tuck, Kellogg, Ross passouts.... maaaaannnn I soooo want to join these schools. These schools sculpt global corporate sharks, young turks leading projects of millions and billions!! What else? In Portland, I am spending most of my days in silence. Literally not speaking a word to anybody for 15-18 hours straight... Strangely, I like this. Just me, my thoughts, books, internet, food ...

So, I came home from office some 15 minutes ago. And today I want to vent myself here... First and the foremost thing is time. I want atleast 3-4 hours more to my day. I want to accomplish a lot in one day, which when accumulated over months will reward me... But the day is limited to 24 hours. I'm waking at 5-5:15-ish everyday. Sleeping at 11-12. But can't make the most out of it... Today after writing this blog, I want to study. I am so tired, but I've found a new rule in my life -  "Normal din me 10 kilometer daudne ka... aur agar barf pade toh 20 kilometer!!!" I want to train my mind from "Yes & No" to "Yes & Hell Yes"... I want to become a workhorse, which I'm in the process of. Apart from that, I'll get my salary in account in 5 days. Then I'll donate some rupees to feed children.. Well, that is the plan in the long run - philanthropy, isn't it?  Also, I am thinking a lot more about future these days. A lot of peop...

 So, I'm writing about my first day of Job after coming home from third day. Well, because its a good job which apparently keeps me busy. And also, I just come home, eat food and literally doze off.   Basically, I have to work on a product with a team, where I'll spend my time on analytics and machine learning stuff. I am in the core business team of the product, where I'm working directly with Maxime (Dartmouth MBA) and Swapnil (MIT MBA) who are the AVP and VP of my company's behavioral health division. Also, other teammates Ryan, David and Clare are also veterans and I'm the only intern.  So, its a bit intimidating (in a good way) and challenging. I will learn a lot. Also, Swapnil is VERY humble. I thought she'd be a bossy lady with whom I'd have a tough time... but is not. She is soooo soooo humble and I haven't seen her resting a single minute. She is just working all the time. I aspire to be a workaholic like her in the coming years...  And Maxime. ...

Today is a very hot day in Portland. Or humid atleast. Well, maybe because my house is just 2 minute walk away from the atlantic ocean (self aggrandizing bastard)... So yeah, I thought of watching some bollywood movies on this hot-calm-typical summer day. So I watched Monsoon Wedding and Mr & Mrs Iyer. Now, i wont talk about Monsoon Wedding. Because (a) it is a well known and good movie (b) because the latter one is underrated and not heard by the masses. Mr and Mrs Iyer is a movie which can't be classified into a specific genre. By the name it might sound that its a light hearted comedy movie (and also by the cast - Rahul Bose and Konkana Sen). But the movie is an emotional roller coaster, which makes you think about the idea of romance along with communalism and idiotic complex systems created by the society. I am writing my thoughts about the movie without revealing a single plot detail so that when you watch the movie, it remains fresh. But yes, it made me wonder that no wo...

If you have ever read about blackholes, you might have come across the term 'singluarity' at some point. Well, I am about to enter that phase of my life now. At this moment, physicists are still trying to find out what exactly happens after that point. Same is with me. I am standing at the verge of six months which will decide the entire course of my career. Although I'll be happy with my coop like others, I want to make the best use of these six months. This place will either help me dig my head in books and courses all the way, or just lay on the bed on weekends... this room... my place... will be my battlefield. Also, I am in suburbs for six months. Here I am experiencing the 'true' culture of America. The introverted side of the USA, which isn't portrayed in movies. Even the sound of sneezing touches the ears of the man moving his lawn 2 houses down the lane. You can hear birds chirping 24*7, sound of rustling leaves when the wind blows, and occasional thuds...

Again, I am writing this from library. Seems like a ritual, which is about to break. Actually, today is Thursday and I am moving to portland the day after tomorrow. So, I'll miss studying in library for the next six months. For some unknown reasons, I am feeling this sudden urge to study and code. Which is very rare because I feel like this only for a day or two in a couple of months; but it's been almost two weeks that i've been into books and udacity at a stretch... at this rate i'm sure i can crack faang, mckinsey or atleast land a good job for the time being. Its by the end of my first stretch in boston that i have realized how awesome northeastern university is!! i cant wait to come here again in january and become an all round nerd.. i wish this 'urge' to study stays with me in portland as well... also, yesterday was the last time i cooked for my roommates.. and i'm not even kidding... the sabzi turned out to be awesome..!! now this might not be a big ...

Well, so I am again in the library. And I wanted to take a break from studying about CAP vs ACID theorums and making ETL pipelines in Apache Cassandra... so here i am writing a post. I am thinking of updating this on a regular basis now. So yeah. Yesterday was a good day. Vishesh bhai offered me to go with him to Revere Beach (where his friends from merchant navy were coming). Man, they were awesome. One was from lucknow and another from haryana (jhajjar) and they will be boarding their ship from providence and had a stay in boston for a day. I was shocked to know that they will be staying in waters till 6 months straight!! No sight of land... kudos to them. Also, I met Utkarsh who is from UP and is placed in Nvidia (california) as a deep learning engineer. Soooooo coooool. So yeah, they came at my place. I made them tea, which to my surprise, they enjoyed! And then they went. Maybe I won't meet those two again in this life, but I'll definitely remember their faces. We watched ...

 Right now its 7:13 pm and I am sitting in Snell Library. I was coding some stuff in postgresql (udacity's nanodegree). I have to go to Jigesh Bhai's birthday by 8:30 and to be honest I want to sit in the library till 10-11pm. So, in a nutshell I will have to negotiate with both things and reach at the party by 9-9:30. And since I wanted to take a break, I thought to write a blog post. About my own dreams, work and life. I am moving to Portland for six months and honestly I dont want to leave Boston. I have made a family here. I know its for the better, but duh... So yeah, it seems a bit pretentious (trust me I hate it) but I enjoy working like this. Empty library, just the noise of my fingers hitting the keyboard and indistinct chatter in the background. It made me think of the things that I left behind some 10 months ago. I was a boy, in comfort zone who used to think that I've conquered the world. It was here, when I came to Boston where I realized that I am merely a spe...

  Hello Stalkers! So here you are again, trying to have a sneak peek. Lately, I have been involved in rigorous thinking about things (almost everything). Well, primarily because of existential crises and the quest to find the purpose of our lives, duh. Why am I even doing my Masters in a country which is thousands of miles from my own home; what will be the point of earning money, shall I look forward to marriage, and a constant dilemma of choosing between reading Bishop's Pattern Recognition and Tagore's Sadhana. Coming to the point. So, I was feeling really 'unproductive' and felt I was wasting my life. And I was reading about rising COVID cases in India; while I was busy chilling at my apartment here in Boston. This is when I started to introspect upon my idea of love. As to, what it exactly is. Because we all have been brainwashed with the idea that love is limited to our romantic partners; and the ones who are 'sInGle' can't experience that. And I was b...